April 21, 2025

Idaho has the strictest drug laws of any state. At least 30% of parolees will be returned to prison for violating parole and not for any new charges. I’m charged with meth trafficking despite no evidence that I sold drugs to anyone; the definition is based on the quantity of meth in a person’s possession. My public defender is not operating in my better interest. His only concern is to appease the state prosecutor. He never met with me prior to sentencing and never answered his phone. I left over two dozen messages for him since having been thrown in jail. He’s paid according to the quantity of cases he takes on, not the outcomes.

I’m sentenced to three years fixed and a maximum of two years indeterminate (i.e., parole). I transfer to max security because of suicidal thoughts. I like these jail cells better—only one man per cell and 23 hours of lockdown per day. There is no risk of gang rape nor physical altercation.

Medical and dental treatment is medieval in prison. I worry about what would happen if I were to be beat up, get sick, or otherwise get hurt. If I injured myself, I would never receive the proper medical treatment to heal properly. There’s an inmate in here who has a hernia bulging from his abdomen the size of a basketball.

I now have plenty of opportunity to write in silence. I give my first novel to an inmate named Joey to take with him when he is released. He promises to send the book to my cousin, Polly. I never hear from Joey again.

I rewrite my first novel from memory on toilet paper.